Flaking Out - The Inability to Commit to Life

I recently celebrated my 30th birthday, on Valentines Day to be exact. My boyfriend decided to arrange a special dinner for me, and sent invites out about one month prior to the date. Most of whom were invited, enthusiastically accepted, but the day before the dinner itself, several of them began dropping out, presenting a whole host of excuses. Everything from I couldn't find a babysitter, to I'm just too tired to come out this evening. I had a wonderful time at my party, but the next day I felt the sting of disappointment in friends that I had known for over a decade. Two messages could be derived from this action. Celebrating a milestone with me was not work the the time or effort or, people are just incapable of committing.

My close girlfriend, a dedicated paralegal assistant who works a sixty-five hour work week, has three children and is suffering from multiple sclerosis was front and centre for my special night. If anyone has a reason to stay home, it would've been her, so a week or so later, I called her up for a coffee, and we ruminated over flakey people. It would seem that we all fall into this invisible hierarchy in life. If your boss asked you to lunch, to discuss your career, would you use some lame last-minute excuse to get out of it? Of course not! You could be committing career suicide! But if your girlfriend asks you out for drinks or coffee, some of you wouldn't think twice to cancel. Why is that? Well, one of my theories is that people consistently bite off more than they can chew, and the more they try to multi-task, the more ineffective they are with their schedule. But delving further, I honestly believe that on the whole, humans are selfish, self-serving creatures, and if we don't see something in it for us, we place little importance on it.

I live in a city that is particularly famous for flakey people, and I decided that after surviving a decade of diva behaviour, I'm setting some ground rules. When I make arrangements to meet someone, I always call them the night before to make sure everything is on the up-and-up so I'm not left in a lurch. To ensure that I don't turn into a flake, I never double book. Everyone deserves my utmost attention, and vice versa. And if someone makes it a habit of flaking out on a regular basis, I call them on it!

Life is far too short. There are 7 billion people on the planet, if someone in your life is being a consistent flake, have a chat with them, and if you feel like you're getting no where, cut them out and move on! 

Don't Be a Selfish Cellphone Nuisance!

On my way home from work today, I stopped in at my favourite produce store to pick up a few things for dinner. I scooped up my basket and headed straight for the organic section to find some leeks, a few celery sticks and some beets, but little did I know, that this seemingly mindless task was going to turn into a spectacle in the middle of the store. When I reached the section, there was a woman, having a rather loud and shocking conversation about how intoxicated she had been the night before and all about some gentleman that she had taken home. I do try my best not to eavesdrop, but Miss X was blocking the beets, and I really just wanted to get home. I asked ever-so-politely if I could just sneak past to grab what I needed and she sneered at me as if I were a parasite that dared speak out of turn. Miss X continued her conversation intently, and in an effort to stake her claim of the organic veggie aisle, she refused to move her body or her cart. I asked her again, this time, I didn't mince words, and again, I was met with aggressive resistance. In a moment of blind produce rage, I snatched the phone out of her hand, and dropped it into her over-sized handbag.

My patience had completely run out, and I was not about to be forced to buy regular vegetables all because some inconsiderate twit was sorting her life out in a post-alcohol fog. After I was cussed out by the offending party, me and my beets prevailed, but it left me questioning; Have cellphones made us more selfish? Smart phones, I feel, have spelled disaster for social relations in a public setting. We feel this intrinsic need to be surgically attached to our phones at all times, and it seems to be at the cost of others. In a handful of places around my city, shop owners seem to understand my sentiment, and have posted signs up blatantly forbidding cellphone use while they are conducting business with a cashier.

Laws have been devised to stop us from chatting on our phones while we drive, and now we have to be told that we shouldn't talk on the phone while we're making a purchase. Ten years ago, you would never have had to lecture a group of adults about phone etiquette, but today it seems we are completely devoid of manners. No one likes an obnoxious cellphone yacker, so before you engage in a lengthy conversation in a public setting, try something a little bold, a little daring, a little controversial; Think of others and don't be so darn selfish!

7 Random Things That Make Life a Little Sweeter

There is no finite formula that to allows us to be successful in life. Everyone measures success in different ways, and has a different opinion on how to achieve it. For some, success is home ownership, or attaining that dream job, whereas for others it could be experiencing motherhood, or traveling the world. But we can all learn something from each other's successes and failures, and we call use a tip or two to keep us positive, keep us productive and most importantly, to remind us of all the little successes we achieve along the way.

1) Post up your progress. I am a list-maker. I realize that many of you may scoff at the idea of making endless lists, but it can be quite an effective tool to getting things done. When I began researching top online schools to allow me to finish my degree, I posted up a list of questions and requirements that I needed from my perspective school on the wall beside my computer, and as I crossed the items off on the list, I felt steps closer to completing my degree.

2) Give yourself no more than 5 minutes each day to clearing out your inbox! Don't spend hours on end sorting through crap, and don't let it pile up! Messy inbox, messy life. You have folders, use them! Organize your contacts accordingly, and return emails promptly.

3) Leave work at work. I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times, but bringing work home with you is so toxic for so many reasons. It never gives you time to enjoy life at home, nor does it ever give you a chance to enjoy your work if that's all you do.

4) Stop drinking bottled water. C'mon now, unless you're living somewhere in a developing country, most North Americans have access to clean drinking water. If choose to buy bottled water, you are simply putting more harmful plastic into our brimming landfills, costing yourself money you needn't spend, and putting harmful chemicals into your body.

5) Eat Slower. Not only is eating slower good for your health, but enjoying a meal at a slower pace helps you relax. North Americans need to take a few tips from the Europeans!

6) Have regular brainstorming sessions. Ideas are the seeds of greatness, and every now and then, putting your swimming thoughts onto paper, somehow legitimizes them, and gives them life. The world's most splendid inventions all began with an idea.

7) Get up early. Yes, yes, we all know, you should try and get at least eight hours of sleep per night, but that doesn't mean you should be getting fifteen hours on the weekend! We're only on Earth for so long, so why waste it sleeping? North American's are some the laziest people on the planet! We spend more time on our behinds, than on our feet, it's time to seize the day and get moving!

Public Speaking Isn't Just for Presidents

Speaking in public actually ranks as number one in the top ten list of the greatest fears in America, number one! This is the same list that includes things like the fear of dying, the fear of heights, and the fear of darkness, just to name a few. The thought of standing up in front of a crowd and speaking a few words creates a violent physical reaction for some people. Nausea, vomiting, cold sweats, the shakes, you name it, people experience it. But the truth is, public speaking is a skill that you should have been able to master at a very young age! Of course, as most of us spend most of our lives trying to avoid public speaking situations,  we don't learn the skills required to deliver believable, noteworthy speeches. Guess what, it's time to stop being a wallflower because fewer and fewer of us have the luxury of hiding in the shadows. You are only doing yourself a disservice.

There are several things we know about public speaking, one being that if you lack the confidence to stand up and speak in front of a group of people whether it's five people or five hundred, it can permanently hurt your career. You could be passed over for promotions of any kind, because you lack the confidence needed to show leadership and inspire others to follow. Statistically, it doesn't matter if you're  a man or woman, both sexes are equally terrified to speak publicly, however, it has been shown that women suffer longer, and men tend to seek help for their anxiety. C'mon girls, we're better than that! 

The anxiety behind public speaking generally starts when children are very young. They're shy around other children, and as they get older, they fall prey to peer pressure, when being outspoken and different isn't cool. Parents and teachers don't realize that letting social awkwardness and speaking fears flourish, they are harming those children far more than helping them.

If you feel that you are one of those individuals that's terrified to speak in front of others, it's time to take charge of your future. Whether it's giving a speech at a wedding, making a presentation in the boardroom or you're defending your dissertation, acquiring the skills to deliver your words in an effective manner will set you apart from those who are too afraid to step out of their shell. Make the change today.